I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize