I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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