Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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