she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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