so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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