the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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