I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
