i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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