I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
