I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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