remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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