Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
