so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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