you guys were way drunker than both of me
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
