This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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