I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
