just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
