she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
