OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
