So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
splinters make it hard to masturbate
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
