For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
