this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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