please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize