I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Welp...herpes.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
