To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
two words...techno handjob
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
