I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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