it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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