Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
