gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
