today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
