its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
