This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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