there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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