tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
