My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
