last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
