I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Enjoy the penises
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
