My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
It was confusing and full of hummus
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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