you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize