i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
