New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize