Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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