It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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