So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
