I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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