Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The Olympian is in my bed
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