My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
