all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
