I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
