I'll bet she douches with gravy.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
