Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
