she was so not down for the gang bang
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
