my vag is so smooth its legendary
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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