I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
