i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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