it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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