I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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