Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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