So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
