Buhtt sex?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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