first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
