his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
