Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
