Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Randomize
