I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
