3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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