I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize