wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We're too hungover to prance.
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