Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
